In the last couple of weeks, my life has changed and along with it, I changed as well. Following these changes, I had to reevaluate my life, sink deep in my thoughts, and make a few decisions. It seems, though, but I needed it to happen. It is like exam during uni, you hate it, but once you get your final diploma, you know it was worth the pain.
So this is me, in a very difficult situation, deciding what to do with my life and out of the sudden at the top of the problem list, I add another one. My friend’s urge to make all of these decisions for me.
‘We have to talk it through. You won’t be able to make a decision without me!’ I heard.
I was grateful for such an amount of support, but there are moments in my life when I have to be sure I am being true to my, and only my, opinions, so I refused the talk in a polite manner.
‘Remember, if I don’t like your decision, I don’t wanna hear about it. And don’t come to me crying to discuss it further. I am out.’ came in response.
I did not reply to that. What could I say? F*ck off?
Following this conversation, my friends made an intervention for me. We are afraid you may do something stupid, they said. They worried about me cos I was acting strangely. They were concerned cos I didn’t spend enough time with them, didn’t share enough thoughts with them. They were sad that I did not involve them in my thinking process.
I don’t know… I felt that was awkward. I felt like I lost something. I always thought a true friend doesn’t have to understand my decisions. As I see it, it takes a real friend to respect them, even when these decisions are different than it was expected. I also think it is highly unhealthy to involve others into the most intimate parts of my life. And this is what I told them. For now, they seem to accept it.
Today was a bit bitter and totally detached from the pictures I made but I had to spit it out as I am confused and still not sure of anything. What do you do when you make a decision? Do your friends support you in it?
STARRING: coat VINTAGE/pants LEVIS/boots MANGO/jumper UNIQLO