Recently I started using Tinder, and I could not have more fun. Swiping right, swiping left… It feels slightly superficial, but in the times of instant culture app with instant, disposable lovers was inevitable. And so here I am, with greasy hair and in my pjs, lying on my very own bed, watching a tv series, and judging others basing my opinions only on their appearance.

The other day, I was sitting in the office, chatting with one guy with whom I have just matched, feeling super fabulous. I closed the app to grab a coffee and reopened it, only to discover that the guy has unmatched me in the meantime. I was like: WTF! What an as****e! How could he do that?

I’m embarrassed to admit that, but I felt deeply, personally insulted by being unmatched. My self-esteem crushed the ground and I wrote D4R14 to ask her how is that even possible. I felt like this unmatch was the most horrible thing that could have ever happened to me and that it most definitely makes the guy the biggest monster of them all.

“It’s a funny thing about the modern world. You hear girls in the toilets of clubs saying, “Yeah, he fuc*ed off and left me. He didn’t love me. He just couldn’t deal with love. He was too fucked up to know how to love me.” Now, how did that happen? What was it about this unlovable century that convinced us we were, despite everything, eminently lovable as a people, as a species? What made us think that anyone who fails to love us is damaged, lacking, malfunctioning in some way? And particularly if they replace us with a god, or a weeping madonna, or the face of Christ in a ciabatta roll—then we call them crazy. Deluded. Regressive. We are so convinced of the goodness of ourselves, and the goodness of our love, we cannot bear to believe that there might be something more worthy of love than us, more worthy of worship. Greeting cards routinely tell us everybody deserves love. No. Everybody deserves clean water. Not everybody deserves love all the time.”*

Tinder is not about love, at least not by default. It is about meeting people, having sweet talks, getting the attention, but mainly it is about the play. And so, here I was, filling my head with all these confidence boosting rules of it and refusing other players right to reject me. Along the way, I forgot that Tinder is, in fact, a game. It is like Pokemon Go and you gotta catch them all. And so matching and unmatching doesn’t have a real value unless I give it one myself.

I realized not only that Tinder is just a game, I also understood, I won’t meet anybody through it, unless I really honestly want to. I pondered on this idea for a while, but then I continued swiping left and right. I am only a human after all.


Do you have any experience with this or other apps for singles? Let me know your thought in comments below 🙂

Stay awesome,

*White Teeth, Zadie Smith



0 comments / Add your comment below

  1. tbymallano says:

    Beautiful post my darling! I do not have any experience with tinder.
    Back in my student days we had chat rooms but even then I didn’t manage to find anyone worthy. I must agree it was very entertaining though:)
    You look lovely and so chic your your outfit!

    Love from https://tbymallano.com/

  2. bla bla bla Tinger :d but look at you! you look amazing on the pictures :d I was not sure about the blouse which you bought with me…but I clrealy see! It is super pretty 🙂

    1. anjage says: Author

      Indeed, Tinder- Shminder, hahah. And the top is like the best, isnt it? And didn’t know you weren’t convinced to it… Well, doesn’t matter now, cos it is in the family already ^^ <3

  3. fauxcroft says:

    Loved the way you expressed yourself through your words and boy was his radar faulty. You look and sound amazing and so he really did fail the big one lol. Great piece.

  4. I can relate to this; it’s what i deal with using “OkCupid”. It’s to the point where i will literally deactivate it because it seems like i have good conversations with matches, then we eventually fall out, and they disappear. It’s a letdown, and i feel that many are bored on sites like those.

    The portion about love; all men are capable of loving, but some of us get damaged in the relationship we are currently in, which leads to detaching from it. There are certain limits for us, as far as how much we can take, but the whole point is accepting someone, and not coming across as a b $!# or someone constantly criticizing your other half, because that can be very damaging, which leads detaching, and cutting ties for good. There is always something that happened in the relationship or did not happen, because its not normal for someone to just leave someone out of the blue for no odd reason.

    1. anjage says: Author

      I agree with you in both points. The apps seem to not leading anywhere game… And the relationships are hard and we do indeed bring into them the luggage from the old ones… I belive though, that once we find a right person and it will be natural and easy 😁 have a good one Thomas 🌺🌸

    1. anjage says: Author

      I did got matched on tinder so it works. I know, though, that there are a lot of fake accounts, so Id say it all depands on location- the bigger the city the bigger the chances to find real ppl… Thanks 😊🌺

  5. MissNizzle says:

    I recently started blogging about my experiences too, funny how real the sense of rejection is. Really, it is perceived rejection? They don’t know you and you don’t know them. I recently felt awful that I had messaged a guy who never replied. Then realised I am doing that all the time to people who message me! Now I make the point to even just politely decline rather than say nothing…

    1. anjage says: Author

      Yeah, it is always better to say something than ignore one another… Glad you liked the readings ❤❤❤ see you around!

  6. I’ve had some great experiences and god awful ones. I got really good about weeding out the bad apples and finding some good ones. I think it’s all about knowing what you want out of it and finding out what he wants to know if it’s going to work out.

    1. anjage says: Author

      Yeah, you are very right! Without knowing what you want you cant get it. Thank you for stopping by and have a good weekend!!! 😊

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