HOME WEAR, 3 WEEKS THEORY & PROCESSING EMOTIONS

Being a social animal brings a lot of dangers. You meet people, you interact with people and sometimes, they interact with you.

As usually, during lunch I was sitting with my girlfriends and discussing relationship issues. I was chewing my chicken salad, when my friend said:

We cannot judge man and woman in the same way. I don’t wanna say woman are smarter, but they have higher emotional intelligence. Full stop.Β  Accordingly, to the research made by some psychological institution, it takes a guy up to 3 weeks to process and understands what is happening on the emotional level of his life. I know it is hard to believe, but trust me. It is true.

None of us wanted to believe it. The questions were piling in my head. Is it possible to process the reality so slow? And if yes, does life provide us with aΒ  pause button, we could hit, to let a guy take his time?

Meanwhile, M0N1K4 dated a guy. At first, he seemed to be a price charming. After a couple of dates, a few red flags appeared.

He said he meets me, cos he pities me. Obviously, I stopped communicating him, but he asked to be friends. I don’t know what to think of that, she said. Another weird situation happened between them, so she confronted him. Over a dinner she told she can’t stand it anymore. She described this conversation as a very mature breakup. They finished the dinner, had a dessert, and went in opposite directions. No one cried, no one shouted and all seemed to be totally fine.

The time has passed and we all forgot about the guy, but he did not forget M0N1K4. 3 weeks later M0N1K4 said to us over a coffee:

Can you imagine? He wrote me a message full of hatred. It is all about how I manipulated him. I guess he never listened to me saying I don’t want to get involved. And he changed everything to fit his purpose so smoothly. My sentence I don’t wanna play with your feelings became I am playing with you while having the time of my life!

We, the friendly support group, were about to start saying whatever our friend silenced us saying:

Oh, girls. That only proves the 3-weeks theory. It takes men up to 3 weeks to realize what happened in their emotional lives.

Can it really be true? Is a 3-weeks theory a real thing? Does it take so long for men to understand what happened? And if yes, are there any psychological studies researching ways to fix it?

Stay awesome!
Anja

STARRING: top and underwear H&M

DSC_00372017-02-186DSC_0078DSC_00552017-02-1852017-02-187

Advertisements

42 thoughts on “HOME WEAR, 3 WEEKS THEORY & PROCESSING EMOTIONS

  1. Girl I hear you. On the other hand for me as a girl it took me somethimes more that 3 weeks to figure out that I have been manipulated. Maybe your friend really was not the most fair person. Lets keep in mind that we only know one side of story.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Yeah, you are right. I sometimes need more time to process some stuff as well. I guess that it can be applicable to both sexes.
      About the girl and the boy, you are right, we do know one side of the story. πŸ™‚
      Thank you for your comment and have a lovely day!
      πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. Or sometimes double that. Took me a few months to realize I’d caught feelings for someone. And not just once either. And other than what was already said in the comments, some people are such master manipulators, if you’re not wired that way, it won’t cross your mind until it’s too late.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Still, I find the mind of a manipulator fascinating in a way. What drives them? Inner fear? Why do they choose this path and not the straightforward approach? Doesn’t mean I want to associate with them. But as a case study of sorts . .

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, and pointless. I mean, if you want to see the real person, not what they’re like when they’re mad, but the everyday person. The worst part is when parents teach their kids how to start manipulating others.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. there has to be a logic behind, but as I see it you wont get far with manipulation when it comes to emotional relations. I guess when thought from childhood, it is difficult to change it.I am glad not to have this mindset set.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I always wonder if deep down manipulators really do crave pure love after all, but are so used to their ways that they can’t help themselves anymore.

        Funny thing is, a high school friend’s mother accused me of being manipulative for omitting to tell her one of the nationalities in my gene pool I never claim or identify with. And for saying I was French (which is my passport country) while I’d just transferred from Germany (where we’d been living). Meanwhile she’s teaching her thirteen-year-old daughter how to snag the boy she was crushing on. Hint, never at any point in that little lesson did she utter the words “just be yourself.” πŸ™„

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Hm… In this story I feel sad for the girl that her mum had a need to influance her life so much… Idk if id consider not disclosing nationality or anything else at that matter to be manipulative… I guess it is never nice to hear it and esp that you also had been a teenager at that point, I think it was quite hurtful from the lady…

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Mainly confusing. As she had moved around quite a lot herself, so should have been more understanding. But I never really liked her to begin with. Funny thing is, her other daughter, who was my friend, was completely different. Very compassionate. It’s interesting to see siblings that are so fundamentally different. Usually there’s something that ties them together. With these two, nothing.

        The mother was actually quite jealous, and unfortunately, she passed that on to her daughter. I was toying with becoming a psychologist then, so it was all super interesting.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Very interesting post! I have read something similar about men taking a longer time to process their emotions but I think it can apply to both sexes because sometimes we are so into our daily activities and obligations that we don’t take the time to think about how are we feeling about something.

    Andrea.

    Seize your Style

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I believe that men really mature late than women. Prolly one of the reasons why I’m in a same sex relationship. Although, I’m not really in the position to judge men because i never had serious dates with them. I have to admit tho that real guys, like those who are ‘man enough’ are really hard to find nowadays. I’m surrounded with girls who had/in the process of having their hearts broken so their cases had been my basis. Meanwhile, with your friend, I agree with Valeria’s comment. It’s hard to give an opinion if we only know one side of the story.

    Wish you a great weekend.

    x
    mutzii

    Liked by 1 person

    1. About the 3 weeks theory, I am not sure if it is not more individual. Hard to say… But when I heard about it, I had to share πŸ™‚
      About the girl, that is true, we know only one part of the story. But you know how it is, as she is my friend I will always support her version more, hahah
      Thank you for reading and your comment.
      See you around!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I agree with Matzi. There are 2 sides of the story. Wish there was a way to know the truth about this kind of situations. Anyway try to keep an open mind and do you usuall post. This kind of post only ruin the style of you blog. Your blog is about fashion keep it thay way.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’ve had a lot of guy friends, and unfortunately some of them have never and will never grow up, so I’ve gotten a bit of insight into the less evolved and insecure side of the male brain. When “Prince Charming” told your friend he was only meeting with her because he pitied her but he wanted to still be friends, he meant he wanted to hook up with her without commitments. He said he pitied her because he was trying to make her feel insecure so he could keep a power over her. My guess is that she showed interest in someone else or he tried to hook up with her and she turned him down or called him out on his crap. When he realized he couldn’t keep her as a side piece, he got pissed off. Just an opinion though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your this explanation… πŸ˜‰ Esp about the part when he was making a girl feel down, just to keep power over her… Sounds quite probable… If that was the case, good she turned him down… Have a lovely Monday!!! 🌞🌞🌞

      Like

  7. Well as we are never going to hear the guys side we will never know the real truth. I think it is somewhere in the middle and that they are both to blame.

    have a good one πŸ˜€

    Like

  8. I think that it depends on how emotionally connect the man is to his own emotions. My best friend Brandon processes the things that happen at what I would consider a pretty normal time, but he is also a yogi and practices mediation so he is connected to his feelings. As for men that are not taking the time to really tune in I believe this is true. I can’t tell you how many exs have asked to meet up a few weeks after a break up….

    Like

    1. I couldnt agree more. Firstly, it depends how open we are to our inner self. Secondly, I totally agree that yoga changes way in which we approach reality and process our emotions. Thanks for reading and your comment❀

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s