If you are looking for tips how to boost confidence, this post is for you. It is advised that almost 70% of communication between people and within oneself is carried via nonverbal channels, so I bring to your attention work on body language. Improving it affect not only how other people see you, but also how you feel about yourself.
I got an idea to write this post when I came across THIS TEDx video.
Believe it or not, but I am a kind of a shy person. When I was a kid, I was the quiet girl sitting in the corner of the room and biting her nails. It took many years of therapy and uncountable amounts of social exercises to change my attitude and then I became an example of a girl who faked it till she made it. With time, my therapy was more and more successful so I limited it to very minimum and, shortly after, I moved to Indonesia.
Indonesia is an amazing country of beautiful landscapes, but not only. It is also a place with surprisingly low ceilings, not suitable for a person higher than 170 cm. I am exactly 171 cm, so to protect my head from banging onto these ceilings, I started to curve my back and with passing months it became my habit.
Change of the posture saved my head from getting the concussion, but as two can play at one game, there was a secret power of it, that I had to deal with as well.
It took more than a couple of months for my environment to notice my lack confidence, and for me, it took even longer. Eventually, I realized it, when I totally lost it. Knowing the drill, I came back to therapy to work it out and luckily I came across therapist, who noticed my withdrawn posture.
I guess, by now you know what I am about to say. Yes, body language affects how I feel and how others see me. For me it was an amazing news, cos it gave me and only me power over what impression I make. Confidence is one of the qualities I am going for and these are guidelines I follow to fake it till I make it.
- BE OPEN.
The more open you look, the more confident you seem. The perfect standing position is with your arms on sides and feet pointing away from each other. It is important to avoid keeping hands in pockets or crossed on the chest as these are closed positions signalizing fear.
- AVOID REVEALING STRESS.
The most common behaviors revealing stress are biting nails, stamping leg or tapping at the table with your fingers. These are only a few of thousands, so each of us needs to identify themselves how we reveal stress through our body and try to embrace it to a maximum.
- BE STRAIGHT.
Since the beginning of our species curved back signalized fear. Most of us read this nonverbal signal unconsciously., but nowadays curved back is often caused not by fear, but hours spent in front of PC. If this is your case, don’t worry. Daily exercises help to improve the posture. Check THIS routine for more.
- LOOK STRAIGHT.
Looking down seems submissive and looking upwards seem arrogant, so to keep a balance and look straight to be perceived as confident.
- EYE CONTACT.
Looking straight does not mean looking straight in the eyes all the time. Keep an eye contact for not more than 80% of the conversation time. During remaining 20% look around, cos too much eye contact seems creepy.
Smiling with teeth is associated with stress. To seem confident grim casually. Smile like you have an awesome day but don’t need to talk about it.
- SLOW DOWN.
The slower you move or talk, the more confident you seem. You can move pretty slow and still seem confident. Don’t get too slow, though. Think Queen Elisabeth strolling through London slow and not last 10 minutes of the last day of school slow.
- OWN A SPACE. (Think Joye from Friends ^^)When sitting at the desk, put your belongings in a comfortable way. Leaving some space between mobile and laptop shows you feel comfortable. The border line here is being that person who needs one chair for their jacket, one for a laptop bag, another to sit on and last one to put legs on.
So these are ways in which I excercise my confidence. Would you add anything to this list? Let me know, I would love to learn more!